The Questions You Need to Ask Your Provider—Before You Give Birth
Introduction
You might assume that your OB, midwife, or family doctor will simply support your birth preferences as long as you say, “I want an unmedicated birth,” or “I want to avoid a C-section if possible.” But here’s the truth: every provider approaches birth a little differently—even within the same practice or hospital.
Your provider’s philosophy, habits, and comfort level with things like pushing positions, induction, and epidurals can greatly impact your birth experience. And while some of these things are hospital policy, many decisions come down to your provider’s personal style.
If you’re planning a physiologic or low-intervention birth, it’s essential to ask detailed, respectful questions during prenatal visits—well before labor begins. This helps you:
Learn your provider’s true approach
Build mutual understanding
Avoid unwanted surprises during birth
Why Asking Specific Questions Matters
Many clients feel confident they’ll be supported—until labor starts and the provider introduces interventions or expectations that were never discussed.
For example:
You ask: “Do you delay cord clamping?”
Provider says: “Yes, we always delay cord clamping.”
But what they mean is: “We wait 30–60 seconds,”
And what you might meant is: “Until the cord stops pulsing and turns white.”
Asking detailed follow-up questions can make all the difference.
Your Prenatal Visit Question Guide
You don’t need to ask all of these at once—pick a few at each visit, or focus on areas that matter most to you. These questions are designed to be curious, respectful, and illuminating—not confrontational.
General Birth Philosophy
“How would you describe your approach to birth?”
“Do you generally encourage physiologic birth, or a more managed approach?”
“What does a ‘normal’ or ideal birth look like to you?”
“How do you feel about unmedicated births?”
“What do you see as the role of doulas or support people?”
Labor Onset & Induction
“How long are you comfortable letting someone go past their due date?”
“When do you typically recommend induction, and for what reasons?”
“Do you routinely offer membrane sweeps or cervical checks toward the end of pregnancy?”
“What are your thoughts on the ARRIVE study and elective induction at 39 weeks?”
“What if my water breaks but contractions haven’t started yet—can I labor at home?”
“What methods do you use for induction—misoprostol, Foley bulb, Pitocin, etc.?”
“Will I be able to choose which induction methods are used, or is there a standard protocol?”
“How do you monitor babies during an induction? Will I be able to move around?”
Pain Management & Epidurals
“What pain management options are available besides the epidural?”
“If I want to avoid the epidural, how do you and the team support that?”
“Can I get an epidural later if I change my mind?”
“If I do choose an epidural, is a lower dose or ‘walking epidural’ possible here?”
“What are the risks and benefits of an epidural from your perspective?”
Monitoring & Mobility
“Do you support intermittent monitoring for low-risk births?”
“Will I be able to move freely during labor if everything is going well?”
“Are wireless or waterproof monitors available?”
“Can I use the tub, shower, birth ball, or peanut ball in labor?”
Pushing & Birth Positions
“What positions do you typically catch babies in?”
“Are you open to side-lying, hands-and-knees, kneeling, or standing birth positions?”
“Can I push while standing or in the bathroom if that feels right?”
“Do you use coached pushing, or will I be encouraged to follow my body’s cues?”
“What happens if I’m fully dilated but don’t feel the urge to push yet?”
“Do you routinely use purple pushing (holding breath and pushing hard), or can I breathe my baby out?”
Tearing & Episiotomy
“What do you do to help prevent tearing?”
“Do you use warm compresses, massage, or other methods?”
“How often do you perform episiotomies?”
“Can I ask that episiotomy only be used if absolutely necessary and consented to during pushing?”
After Baby Is Born
“How long do you usually delay cord clamping?”
“Would you be willing to wait until the cord stops pulsating and turns white?”
“Is immediate skin-to-skin standard here?”
“Will I be able to hold the baby while being stitched, if I tear?”
“Are newborn procedures delayed so we can bond first?”
“Can procedures be done in the room?”
Feeding & Baby Care
“Is lactation support available right after birth?”
“Do nurses help with latching or just offer formula?”
“Can I request to delay the first bath?”
“What if I want to decline or delay certain newborn procedures?”
“Will my baby stay with me at all times, or be taken to a nursery?”
How to Ask These Questions with Confidence
If you’re nervous about seeming confrontational, try framing your questions with curiosity:
“I’ve been learning a lot and just want to understand how you approach certain things so I can be prepared.”
“I’m hoping to have an unmedicated birth and want to know what that usually looks like with your patients.”
“Everyone practices a little differently, so I’d love to hear how you personally handle these scenarios.”
Most providers will appreciate that you’re informed and engaged.
Red Flags to Watch For
Pay attention if your provider:
Brushes off your questions or laughs at your preferences
Uses language like “we don’t do that here” or “you’ll just have to wait and see”
Seems unwilling to discuss options or explains only hospital policy
You deserve a provider who is willing to partner with you, not just tolerate you.
Bonus Tip: Bring This List with You
Many clients find it helpful to:
Bring a printed version of this guide
Take notes during the conversation
Bring a doula or support person who can help you debrief
Conclusion
Your birth experience matters—and so does your relationship with your provider. The more clearly you understand their approach ahead of time, the more prepared and empowered you’ll feel walking into labor.
This isn’t about being difficult or distrustful. It’s about clarity, communication, and making sure the person catching your baby actually supports the birth you’re planning for.
If you’d like help preparing for your prenatal visits or planning your birth preferences, I’d love to support you. Reach out to schedule a consultation or explore my doula services.
References
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG)
ACOG Committee Opinion No. 687: “Approaches to Limit Intervention During Labor and Birth”
https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/committee-opinion/articles/2017/02/approaches-to-limit-intervention-during-labor-and-birthWorld Health Organization (WHO)
WHO Recommendations: “Intrapartum Care for a Positive Childbirth Experience” (2018)
https://www.who.int/publications/i/item/9789241550215
Evidence Based Birth®
“Evidence on: Delayed Cord Clamping”
“Evidence on: The ARRIVE Trial and Induction at 39 Weeks”
https://evidencebasedbirth.com
Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews
Gupta JK, Hofmeyr GJ. “Position in the second stage of labour for women without epidural anaesthesia.” (2012)
https://doi.org/10.1002/14651858.CD002006.pub3
Listening to Mothers Survey (National Partnership for Women & Families)
https://www.nationalpartnership.org/our-work/health/listening-to-mothers.html
Childbirth Connection / National Partnership for Women & Families
“Hormonal Physiology of Childbearing: Evidence and Implications for Women, Babies, and Maternity Care” (2015)
https://www.nationalpartnership.org/our-work/resources/health-care/maternity/hormonal-physiology-of-childbearing.pdfMidwives Alliance of North America (MANA)
“Supporting Physiologic Birth: A Consensus Statement by ACNM, MANA, and NACPM”
https://mana.org/pdfs/Physiological-Birth-Consensus-Statement.pdf
National Institutes of Health (NIH)
“Epidural Analgesia During Labor: Effects on the Birth Process and Neonatal Outcomes”
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22562136/
